"You're a Different Person"

At the weigh-in on Monday, as I was passing a fellow cohort member, she said, "You're a different person than the one who started in this program!" I thought it was an interesting, and somewhat surprising, comment. Although the person making it is probably not at her goal weight, I believe she has probably lost more weight than I have on the program. So I'm wondering, does she feel like a different person than the one who started in January?

Maybe she does. I definitely don't feel "like a different person." I recognize I might look significantly different (inevitable after losing almost 60 pounds), but I'm still me, flaws and all.

I actually would have expected that comment from someone who was NOT on a weight loss journey herself. In our culture we do judge people on their weight, and being "weightist" seems to still be an allowable way to discriminate against people and treat them like second class citizens. Losing - and also gaining - weight doesn't change who you are, and shouldn't (ideally) change how people perceive you and interact with you.

I'm 100% sure she meant it as a compliment, and I (after a brief hesitation) took it as one, and said something like oh we're all different than we were in January, but I meant in the outward sense only. I know the stereotype exists that people who are heavy somehow have character flaws - gluttony, laziness, sloth, lack of self- discipline - and so are seen as internally flawed based on their outward appearance. But I know I'm no better or worse than I was in January, just lighter.

The world may treat me like a different person, because I look different, but it would be nice if we could see through the outside and relate to people on the basis of other more important factors. But I know that's somewhat unrealistic. (Although it is the basis for the start of the movie Beauty and the Beast, where the beast judges the enchantress by her external appearance and pays dearly for his lack of judgment!)

I am happy to have compliments on my weight loss success and healthier appearance, but at the same time, I can't help wish that we lived in a world where people were judged and valued for who they are, not what they look like...

Maintenance and Motivation

Despite challenges this summer - vacations, barbecues, weddings, and more - I am holding more or less steady (never gaining) at about 57 pounds lost. Since the goal stated at the top of my blog was to lose 30 (or 40, or even 50) pounds - and I would have been happy with 30! - this is a resounding success. Now I just need to keep it up. I'm a size 8 (started at 18) and this seems like a good place to stay. Maintenance isn't as sexy as losing. I love seeing the scale go down. So a different mindset is needed to get the same thrill from seeing the scale hold steady. But there are so many good reasons to maintain and stay motivated to keep the scale from going back up.

Regarding motivation, if someone asked at the start of the Optifast program about why I wanted to lose weight, I would have said my motivation was 75% health, 25% appearance. I'm going to be 64 on Sep. 1st, and yesterday celebrated my 35th wedding anniversary. I'm not out there on the dating scene or looking to wear bikinis. My husband seriously doesn't seem to notice whether I'm big or little. So my main motivation was improved health, as indicated by BMI, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. And all those indicators have been good.

But there's another aspect I hadn't considered, related to health but more tangible than test numbers, and that is comfort. It makes my life much easier and more pleasant to be down over 50 pounds. Here are some examples:

• For our anniversary yesterday we went kayaking in Napa. It was easy going down the river, but then we had to turn around and paddle against the current to get back. It was hard and my arms are killing me today, but wow, if that kayak had been 50 pounds heavier it would have been even harder. So I was grateful that I only had to paddle my 140 pound self up the river, not my 197 pound self!
• I love taking my grandkids to Disneyland but last year thought I might have to quit, as it was getting too hard physically. I was too tired to keep up. It wasn't fun anymore. Now this year when I went in May it was completely different in terms of energy and endurance. Bring it on, Mickey!
• We go to Family Camp for a week every year. This year was especially hot (in the hundreds) and our cabin was up a hill. If I had been climbing that hill in that heat carrying 50 more pounds it would have been so miserable I don't think I would have lasted a day. I was so grateful to be facing that heat (and that climb!) without the extra weight.

These are just a few of the ways that this weight loss has improved my life. I am daily grateful for ALL the positive aspects of this weight loss journey!

Optifast Kaiser Diet - Down 55 Pounds

Weigh-in tonight (missed last week) was down 2 pounds, which was good. I actually would have been fine with no change, but Thursday am leaving for 6 days at an inclusive family camp, and am worried about gaining. Lots of high carb food served family style with not that many healthy choices. I'm going to try my best!

Not on product-only for some time, but I still have a bar or two a day. I'm happy that I'm holding my weight down even while eating "real food" and certainly have had food that wouldn't be necessarily recommended, from champagne flights to fig chutney on French bread to frozen gelato. BUT, those are the exception, and I've compensated, and mostly I'm eating high protein, low carb, high veg. And not a lot. Sadly at my age my metabolism can't handle lots of calories.

Related to that, in a few weeks we'll have that test that tells us how many calories we should eat to maintain. But I had it maybe five years ago and it was distressingly low - related to muscle (and lack of) and exercise (and lack of). And age and gender are probably figured in too.

It's in the hundreds where I live this week so am SO happy I shed that 55 pounds or I would be SO miserable - sweaty, rashy, exhausted. Well done me, is all I can say, for my success on this program! And best wishes to anyone considering a similar program, starting out on it, struggling through it, hitting transition, or in the maintenance phase. I've gone probably from a size 18 to a size 8, so for me this program is a big thumbs up. And I hope in 5 years I say the same thing!

Lost 50 Pounds in Four Months

When I look at that title it seems hard to believe. Fifty pounds is a lot of weight. I can't imagine carrying around fifty pounds of something all day long, but that's what I was doing. No wonder I feel so much better.

I know there are pros and cons with each type of diet, and the final proof is in weight kept off, but I'm sure happy with the weight loss phase. Here is the latest chart:

The actual total pounds lost, based on the weigh-in tonight, is 52.8. And my blood pressure tonight was 100 over 65. Crazy!!

We are adding dairy and fruit to our transition diet (already added veg and lean protein) so bought blueberries, apples and Greek yogurt tonight at the store. My fridge is starting to have actual food in it again! ;-)

Back from Disneyland - Moment of Truth on the Scale

So I flew back home last night after a whole week (Saturday through Saturday) at Disneyland. I was exceedingly nervous about my home weigh-in. (Official one tomorrow night at Kaiser.)

We are in transition. I took bars and shakes, but knew I would also be having some real food. But I was amazingly strong (at least, I amazed myself) and did NOT have my usual Disneyland treats which range from chocolate covered marshmallow sticks in Critter Country to fresh raspberry tarts at the Holly Jolly Cafe to fried chicken on Main Street to margaritas in California Adventure. I was at bars and only had a diet coke. I was at complementary breakfast buffets and only had a hard-boiled egg. I was on a plane flight and passed on the free pretzels and sugar-covered peanuts. ;-)

But still, I knew I had eaten and drank more than we were supposed to be doing at this point in transition. And when you are losing weight and start eating real food, bizarre things can happen in your body. I honestly had no idea what to expect weight-wise. That's why I was blown away to find out that I had actually lost two pounds during the week at Disneyland. Now that is a first for me for sure! V. proud of myself!! :-)

And here's another thing. The last time I went to Disneyland (in November of last year) I weighed 45-50 pounds more than I do now. And wow, could I tell the difference. After that November trip I thought I might have to give up taking my grandchildren to Disneyland because it was just too hard and exhausting. This time I had more energy and stamina than the 9 year old and 3 year old I had with me. Feeling very grateful for how much better my body works for me these days.

Weight and Blood Pressure - End of Week 16

Well the charts speak for themselves with good news - blood pressure tonight was 104! And lost five pounds over the last two weeks, now teetering at the bottom of 150 pounds (already into the high 140's on my home scale). Woo hoo!

Change in Weight

Change in Blood Pressure

Lost Forty Pounds on Optifast in Three Months

Both on the Kaiser scale and my home scale I've now lost over 40 pounds since starting in early January. It may be three months and one week but still, it's pretty amazing. Can't argue with those results! And I bet others in the program have lost more. The doctor last week said that you lose more if:

• You have more to lose
• You start out further from your goal (which is saying the same thing)
• And you were eating a lot more before the program 

So for that last bullet, if you were eating 3000 calories a day before going on Optifast, obviously that's a much bigger difference than if you were eating 1600. A difference in thousands rather than hundreds, in terms of calories.

So I'm in the category of having less to lose in that I didn't start out at 250 or more pounds, and wasn't (at least in my opinion) eating a huge amount before. So my forty pound loss, thrilled as I am with it, may be below the average for our group!

But if you read about Optifast no one really argues about results. After all, wasn't Oprah the posture child for dramatic weight loss on Optifast? But its reputation - and it isn't alone in this by any means - is that the weight comes back. So as I mentioned before, the real challenge ahead is transition, and then maintenance. But I feel SO much better at this weight. The money and effort have been worth it. I can keep from going back. Yes!

Blood Pressure

There are other measures of success when dieting besides the scale. One is how your body feels  - lighter, more agile (for lack of a better word). One is the way clothes fit - looser, less binding, too big. Another is more directly related to health. Some members of our program hope to go off or reduce their prescribed medication for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. I don't take any medication, but my blood pressure is typically right up there at the edge of OK, like 139. Sometimes they have to take it twice to get it to dip under 140.

During the Optifast diet, it's mainly been in the high 130's, occasionally being higher on a particular week (in the 140's or 150's). Blood pressure is taken every week at the weigh-in. I'm happy to report that on Monday, mine was in the 120's for the first time in quite some time. I'd love to get it - and keep it - under 120 (the ideal blood pressure) but I'm happy for 128 and the downward trend. Yay!

Total Lost So Far - 32 Pounds

So four more pounds down at the weigh-in last night. Yay! Talked to a man in my group later and he is down 38 pounds. This is his second go-round but the other was some years ago and he regained primarily after being incapacitated for almost a year after a serious injury. So glad the second time is working out for him.

We have six more weeks product only. But apparently food is going to be introduced REALLY slowly. Like a one sixty calorie "meal" will replace one product only, for several weeks. Wow.

Anyway I was certainly happy to see a four pound loss rather than the four ounces last week!

Latest Stats

So at weigh-in tonight, I'd lost 3.7 pounds last week. That's a total of 27.6 pounds during the seven weeks on product. We are starting our eighth week.

Saw the doc again tonight (once a month). Lab results all good, no problems.

Everyone in my group seems VERY happy with their weight loss, they feel good, not hungry, lots of energy. Hard to knock this program, at least in the weight loss phase!

And we are discussing long term strategies, including monitoring. Large Kaiser study said those who monitored (whether on paper or apps like My Fitness Pal) lost twice as much weight...

Woo Hoo Nice Weigh-In!

So scale at official weigh-in at Kaiser Monday night showed 24 total pounds lost in the six weeks that I've been on Optifast product only. Nice! Down seven pounds since the weigh-in two weeks ago. That suffering at the buffet was worth it!

Official Weigh-In at the Meeting Tonight - 197 Pounds

I've never broken the 200 lb mark, but can say this is the heaviest I've ever weighed, at only 5'3''.

Speaking of being short, at the meeting tonight the leader mentioned that men lose fastest (no surprise there) and the ones who lose the least or the slowest are SHORT OLDER WOMEN. Ahem, in this group I'm the flippin poster child for the short older woman. There's one woman with grey hair who may be older but not as short as me. The others are all at least a decade younger, many in their 40's or younger (I'm 63). So that was good news. :-(

Over the week I've cleaned the kitchen out of temptations, except for some stuff that's frozen. On the way home after the meeting I bought sugarless gum, Stevia, lemons, and some no-calorie powder to add to water, since we are literally supposed to drink a gallon a day. Can I just mention that I HATE water and live on Diet Coke? (And we're supposed to cut way back on caffeine.)

Anyway, time for night night and then will get up to my lemon water and first chocolate shake. Yippee! Actually, I am happy to get this started. Let the transformation begin!