"You're a Different Person"

At the weigh-in on Monday, as I was passing a fellow cohort member, she said, "You're a different person than the one who started in this program!" I thought it was an interesting, and somewhat surprising, comment. Although the person making it is probably not at her goal weight, I believe she has probably lost more weight than I have on the program. So I'm wondering, does she feel like a different person than the one who started in January?

Maybe she does. I definitely don't feel "like a different person." I recognize I might look significantly different (inevitable after losing almost 60 pounds), but I'm still me, flaws and all.

I actually would have expected that comment from someone who was NOT on a weight loss journey herself. In our culture we do judge people on their weight, and being "weightist" seems to still be an allowable way to discriminate against people and treat them like second class citizens. Losing - and also gaining - weight doesn't change who you are, and shouldn't (ideally) change how people perceive you and interact with you.

I'm 100% sure she meant it as a compliment, and I (after a brief hesitation) took it as one, and said something like oh we're all different than we were in January, but I meant in the outward sense only. I know the stereotype exists that people who are heavy somehow have character flaws - gluttony, laziness, sloth, lack of self- discipline - and so are seen as internally flawed based on their outward appearance. But I know I'm no better or worse than I was in January, just lighter.

The world may treat me like a different person, because I look different, but it would be nice if we could see through the outside and relate to people on the basis of other more important factors. But I know that's somewhat unrealistic. (Although it is the basis for the start of the movie Beauty and the Beast, where the beast judges the enchantress by her external appearance and pays dearly for his lack of judgment!)

I am happy to have compliments on my weight loss success and healthier appearance, but at the same time, I can't help wish that we lived in a world where people were judged and valued for who they are, not what they look like...

Optifast Kaiser Diet - Down 55 Pounds

Weigh-in tonight (missed last week) was down 2 pounds, which was good. I actually would have been fine with no change, but Thursday am leaving for 6 days at an inclusive family camp, and am worried about gaining. Lots of high carb food served family style with not that many healthy choices. I'm going to try my best!

Not on product-only for some time, but I still have a bar or two a day. I'm happy that I'm holding my weight down even while eating "real food" and certainly have had food that wouldn't be necessarily recommended, from champagne flights to fig chutney on French bread to frozen gelato. BUT, those are the exception, and I've compensated, and mostly I'm eating high protein, low carb, high veg. And not a lot. Sadly at my age my metabolism can't handle lots of calories.

Related to that, in a few weeks we'll have that test that tells us how many calories we should eat to maintain. But I had it maybe five years ago and it was distressingly low - related to muscle (and lack of) and exercise (and lack of). And age and gender are probably figured in too.

It's in the hundreds where I live this week so am SO happy I shed that 55 pounds or I would be SO miserable - sweaty, rashy, exhausted. Well done me, is all I can say, for my success on this program! And best wishes to anyone considering a similar program, starting out on it, struggling through it, hitting transition, or in the maintenance phase. I've gone probably from a size 18 to a size 8, so for me this program is a big thumbs up. And I hope in 5 years I say the same thing!

The Danger of Delicious Food

I've realized that for me, the biggest danger with regards to healthy eating is that some food just tastes too darn good! So I'm fine when on Optifast product, and if my fridge and daily diet is full of eggs, tuna, salad, apples, plain yogurt, veggies, I'm OK too. No problem with portion control or overeating.

But put me at an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet, or hand me a jar of chocolate-covered apricots, or sell me a basket of ripe cherries from a road-side stand, and that food is gone, all of it.

My mom could make a box of Sees candy last a month. I obviously didn't inherit the self-control gene. It is really really hard for me to stop eating when food tastes good. Yesterday at a buffet I only had salad because I knew if I started on the other food it would be a pig-out. Not proud to say it, but I feel like I know myself after all these years, and I know that I will blow through any stopsign on the autobahn of eating when the food is yummy.

So do I just eat meh food the rest of my life? That's kinda what I'm thinking at this point! I did read that successful post-dieting folks limit the variety in their meals. So basically eat mostly the same thing day in, day out. That's probably due to this same problem.

So for now, I'm keeping the sexy, high-interest foods out of my fridge and pantry, avoiding certain restaurants, and hoping for no more chocolate apricot gifts. (It was from my son! From Vienna! And he knows I love apricots. And chocolate!)

My weigh-in last night was half a pound below a month ago, the previous weigh-in. If I was still trying to lose a lot of weight that would be a bummer. But actually, I'd be happy to maintain, so no gain was good news. Just gotta keep keepin' on!

Back from Disneyland - Moment of Truth on the Scale

So I flew back home last night after a whole week (Saturday through Saturday) at Disneyland. I was exceedingly nervous about my home weigh-in. (Official one tomorrow night at Kaiser.)

We are in transition. I took bars and shakes, but knew I would also be having some real food. But I was amazingly strong (at least, I amazed myself) and did NOT have my usual Disneyland treats which range from chocolate covered marshmallow sticks in Critter Country to fresh raspberry tarts at the Holly Jolly Cafe to fried chicken on Main Street to margaritas in California Adventure. I was at bars and only had a diet coke. I was at complementary breakfast buffets and only had a hard-boiled egg. I was on a plane flight and passed on the free pretzels and sugar-covered peanuts. ;-)

But still, I knew I had eaten and drank more than we were supposed to be doing at this point in transition. And when you are losing weight and start eating real food, bizarre things can happen in your body. I honestly had no idea what to expect weight-wise. That's why I was blown away to find out that I had actually lost two pounds during the week at Disneyland. Now that is a first for me for sure! V. proud of myself!! :-)

And here's another thing. The last time I went to Disneyland (in November of last year) I weighed 45-50 pounds more than I do now. And wow, could I tell the difference. After that November trip I thought I might have to give up taking my grandchildren to Disneyland because it was just too hard and exhausting. This time I had more energy and stamina than the 9 year old and 3 year old I had with me. Feeling very grateful for how much better my body works for me these days.

Transition - Heading Back to Food

So tomorrow begins Week 17, which is the week that most of my group (including me) will swap out one 160 calorie product and add in 160 calories of vegetable and lean protein. Some folks are extending product only (presumably because they want to lose more at a rapid rate), under a doctor's care. But most are diving back into food. Actually, diving might be the wrong image, as this will be baby steps.

We went around the room to say what our "first meal" would be. Most said chicken and string beans. I said salmon and asparagus. Why not!

We also have our final lab work this week. I'm not doing the fasting labs tomorrow as I want to have a 12 hour fast and it's too late (I don't want to have to fast until 10:30 in the morning) so hopefully tomorrow night I'll have my last meal around 7 and then get tested around 7 am on Wednesday. Hoping for positive changes in lipid profile, along with the weight loss and lower blood pressure!

Lost Forty Pounds on Optifast in Three Months

Both on the Kaiser scale and my home scale I've now lost over 40 pounds since starting in early January. It may be three months and one week but still, it's pretty amazing. Can't argue with those results! And I bet others in the program have lost more. The doctor last week said that you lose more if:

• You have more to lose
• You start out further from your goal (which is saying the same thing)
• And you were eating a lot more before the program 

So for that last bullet, if you were eating 3000 calories a day before going on Optifast, obviously that's a much bigger difference than if you were eating 1600. A difference in thousands rather than hundreds, in terms of calories.

So I'm in the category of having less to lose in that I didn't start out at 250 or more pounds, and wasn't (at least in my opinion) eating a huge amount before. So my forty pound loss, thrilled as I am with it, may be below the average for our group!

But if you read about Optifast no one really argues about results. After all, wasn't Oprah the posture child for dramatic weight loss on Optifast? But its reputation - and it isn't alone in this by any means - is that the weight comes back. So as I mentioned before, the real challenge ahead is transition, and then maintenance. But I feel SO much better at this weight. The money and effort have been worth it. I can keep from going back. Yes!

Blood Pressure Chart

Obviously my blood pressure chart doesn't show as much change as my weight chart, but still, good things happening. Moving from the 130s to the 120s - I like it, and so does the doctor. I hate taking meds and my blood pressure has always hovered in the almost-needing-medication zone, so I'm happy to have it lower. Heart disease is the thing that kills us in my family, so glad for the improvement.

Weight Loss Graph

So, this is the chart of the weight I've lost since starting the program. Tonight I was at 159. Woo hoo! Two more pounds and it will make 40 that I've lost! I met with the doc tonight and talked about a goal weight. I was surprised he thought I should lose another 20 or more (he said goal of 135 or 140). I'm thinking maybe 15 more and that would be it. We'll see. If it came from the right places that would be great. But instead my arms, legs, neck and face will just get scrawnier, LOL. And since he was rather portly I wanted to ask what HIS goal was. ;-) But obviously I'm quite happy about the progress I've made during the last 12 weeks. My goal is more maintaining rather than lots more lost, frankly. That's the true battle for any diet/weight loss program. Transition back to food a few weeks away...

Blood Pressure

There are other measures of success when dieting besides the scale. One is how your body feels  - lighter, more agile (for lack of a better word). One is the way clothes fit - looser, less binding, too big. Another is more directly related to health. Some members of our program hope to go off or reduce their prescribed medication for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. I don't take any medication, but my blood pressure is typically right up there at the edge of OK, like 139. Sometimes they have to take it twice to get it to dip under 140.

During the Optifast diet, it's mainly been in the high 130's, occasionally being higher on a particular week (in the 140's or 150's). Blood pressure is taken every week at the weigh-in. I'm happy to report that on Monday, mine was in the 120's for the first time in quite some time. I'd love to get it - and keep it - under 120 (the ideal blood pressure) but I'm happy for 128 and the downward trend. Yay!

Total Lost So Far - 32 Pounds

So four more pounds down at the weigh-in last night. Yay! Talked to a man in my group later and he is down 38 pounds. This is his second go-round but the other was some years ago and he regained primarily after being incapacitated for almost a year after a serious injury. So glad the second time is working out for him.

We have six more weeks product only. But apparently food is going to be introduced REALLY slowly. Like a one sixty calorie "meal" will replace one product only, for several weeks. Wow.

Anyway I was certainly happy to see a four pound loss rather than the four ounces last week!

Woo Hoo Nice Weigh-In!

So scale at official weigh-in at Kaiser Monday night showed 24 total pounds lost in the six weeks that I've been on Optifast product only. Nice! Down seven pounds since the weigh-in two weeks ago. That suffering at the buffet was worth it!

Woo Hoo! Eight Pounds Down First Week!

Despite being an "older, short" woman, my loss was one of the biggest in our group I think. Two women mentioned losing 3.5 pounds each, and one man, who was quite happy, said that he lost nine, but the leader pointed out that he was male, taller, etc. than most of us. So yeah, eight pounds down is good! (Official weight - 189.3) But we don't officially share our weight loss, and I certainly didn't mention mine!

I'm wearing the same outfit for weigh-in each week, and no shoes, to be consistent. Of course it won't stay 8 pounds a week! I know there's water weight lost the first week. I am NOT drinking all the water I'm supposed to - though more than I normally do! Something to work on.

The first on-product meeting was productive, with people sharing tips, and the commonality of being hungry, having cravings, getting headaches, dealing with people who don't know we're on a special diet. Seems like a good group.

Two people already dropped out! The reality of the products hit them, I guess. Hopefully the rest of us (17 I think) will stay the course.

My blood pressure was a little higher but I'm not worried. With weight going down it will go down too in time, I know.

So yeah, things are looking good! On to Week Two. I do have one dinner (paid for already, including wine) to survive on Saturday, but otherwise, should be smooth sailing - or as smooth as possible with less than 1000 calories per day. But it's temporary, a break from food, just for fifteen more weeks, I can do it.