Livin' in the Range...

So, being satisfied with the amount of weight I'd lost and moving on to maintenance, I came up with a five pound range that I want to stay in. That range is 135-140. And I try to religiously weigh myself every morning, even though some days I worry before getting on the scale, if the day before involved restaurants, parties, alcohol, baking (involving taste testing and sampling!), or other factors that didn't result in a nothing-but-healthy-eating day.

So far, so good. I've been as low as 136 and as high as 139 (with decimals after both numbers), and I've tried to react to the higher end number by "taking it easy" food-wise the next day. Which means maybe having a bar (meal replacement) for one meal, and avoiding social eating situations.

I do consider myself a food addict, in that under certain situations I overeat and put self-control on the back burner. There are definitely trigger foods and situations that cause me to regret my behavior later. As a food addict, like an alcoholic, I'm not sure I'll ever be a "normal" person like others who never worry about what they eat. I think I'm going to just have to take one day at a time, and keep on trying.

The main thing, and it's no secret, is that just because overeating occurs, whether it's one candy bar or one meal or one day, you absolutely can't throw in that ever-ready towel and say "oh well, diet's over, I can eat what I want!" That is the path to weight gain, I know as well as I know my own name. At 140 pounds that's still 55 down from January. So even if I am at the top of my "range" I'm still in a great place, and with some dietary adjustment for a day or two or maybe a week, I can land back at the lower (safer) end of the range.

That's my plan anyway!

Thirty Week Graduation Day

Tonight's Kaiser cohort meeting was our final meeting of the first 30 weeks of the program. We graduate to "lifestyle" meetings at this point, which are held several times a week. As part of our graduation, we saw a slideshow of before and after pictures, and members had an opportunity to share how much they'd lost, and any other comments they might want to make about the program.

It was very interesting, and so impressive how much weight had been lost. Two people weren't there, and two people didn't mention the weight loss amount. Two others had lost thirty something pounds. Everyone else had lost in the fifties and sixties, with the exception of one man (whose daughter is also in our cohort) who had lost eighty something pounds - wow!! He mentioned that he had never lost more than 20 pounds on any other diet.

The next photo Kaiser will take of us will be at 82 weeks! That's how many weeks they want us to be in the program, attending as many lifestyle meetings as possible. (Those meetings include a weigh-in, a chance to buy "product" and a different topic and discussion each week.) So that's a year from now, 52 weeks. I'm hoping I will be at the same or less at that time. No backsliding!!! I'm too old (and too frugal) to do this all over again! ;-)

Metabolism Test

Today I had my metabolism test at Kaiser. The results were expected (by me anyway) but still disappointing.

First, my metabolism was 18% below normal. That can be due to dieting/low calorie intake but there are many other factors including just having a family history of being slugs. ;-) And, I pretty much have NO muscles, LOL. Very squishy. My granddaughters love it for cuddling. Just like a marshmallow...

So for the actual test, you breathe through a tube for 10 minutes and it measures oxygen and carbon dioxide as you inhale and exhale. From that it can determine metabolism, and calories burned under different circumstances.

So if I never moved all day I would burn 1037 calories to maintain my current weight. Normal daily movement takes me up to 1336. And adding real exercise allows more calories to be eaten while without gaining- so for example 30 minutes of exercise takes the calorie figure up to 1454.

I'm actually not tracking calories right now, but it would be interesting to test this by coming up with maybe two weeks of meals at right about 1300 calories and see what the scale does.

So of course it would be nice to have these numbers be higher (a faster - or more normal- metabolism), but I was told they've seen lower! Age, hormones, lack of sleep, and stress are also factors that impact metabolism.

The paper they gave me with my results also said that my BMI was 25, which according to the chart I looked at was just over the edge from normal into overweight, but waaaay below obese, where I used to be.

"You're a Different Person"

At the weigh-in on Monday, as I was passing a fellow cohort member, she said, "You're a different person than the one who started in this program!" I thought it was an interesting, and somewhat surprising, comment. Although the person making it is probably not at her goal weight, I believe she has probably lost more weight than I have on the program. So I'm wondering, does she feel like a different person than the one who started in January?

Maybe she does. I definitely don't feel "like a different person." I recognize I might look significantly different (inevitable after losing almost 60 pounds), but I'm still me, flaws and all.

I actually would have expected that comment from someone who was NOT on a weight loss journey herself. In our culture we do judge people on their weight, and being "weightist" seems to still be an allowable way to discriminate against people and treat them like second class citizens. Losing - and also gaining - weight doesn't change who you are, and shouldn't (ideally) change how people perceive you and interact with you.

I'm 100% sure she meant it as a compliment, and I (after a brief hesitation) took it as one, and said something like oh we're all different than we were in January, but I meant in the outward sense only. I know the stereotype exists that people who are heavy somehow have character flaws - gluttony, laziness, sloth, lack of self- discipline - and so are seen as internally flawed based on their outward appearance. But I know I'm no better or worse than I was in January, just lighter.

The world may treat me like a different person, because I look different, but it would be nice if we could see through the outside and relate to people on the basis of other more important factors. But I know that's somewhat unrealistic. (Although it is the basis for the start of the movie Beauty and the Beast, where the beast judges the enchantress by her external appearance and pays dearly for his lack of judgment!)

I am happy to have compliments on my weight loss success and healthier appearance, but at the same time, I can't help wish that we lived in a world where people were judged and valued for who they are, not what they look like...

Maintenance and Motivation

Despite challenges this summer - vacations, barbecues, weddings, and more - I am holding more or less steady (never gaining) at about 57 pounds lost. Since the goal stated at the top of my blog was to lose 30 (or 40, or even 50) pounds - and I would have been happy with 30! - this is a resounding success. Now I just need to keep it up. I'm a size 8 (started at 18) and this seems like a good place to stay. Maintenance isn't as sexy as losing. I love seeing the scale go down. So a different mindset is needed to get the same thrill from seeing the scale hold steady. But there are so many good reasons to maintain and stay motivated to keep the scale from going back up.

Regarding motivation, if someone asked at the start of the Optifast program about why I wanted to lose weight, I would have said my motivation was 75% health, 25% appearance. I'm going to be 64 on Sep. 1st, and yesterday celebrated my 35th wedding anniversary. I'm not out there on the dating scene or looking to wear bikinis. My husband seriously doesn't seem to notice whether I'm big or little. So my main motivation was improved health, as indicated by BMI, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. And all those indicators have been good.

But there's another aspect I hadn't considered, related to health but more tangible than test numbers, and that is comfort. It makes my life much easier and more pleasant to be down over 50 pounds. Here are some examples:

• For our anniversary yesterday we went kayaking in Napa. It was easy going down the river, but then we had to turn around and paddle against the current to get back. It was hard and my arms are killing me today, but wow, if that kayak had been 50 pounds heavier it would have been even harder. So I was grateful that I only had to paddle my 140 pound self up the river, not my 197 pound self!
• I love taking my grandkids to Disneyland but last year thought I might have to quit, as it was getting too hard physically. I was too tired to keep up. It wasn't fun anymore. Now this year when I went in May it was completely different in terms of energy and endurance. Bring it on, Mickey!
• We go to Family Camp for a week every year. This year was especially hot (in the hundreds) and our cabin was up a hill. If I had been climbing that hill in that heat carrying 50 more pounds it would have been so miserable I don't think I would have lasted a day. I was so grateful to be facing that heat (and that climb!) without the extra weight.

These are just a few of the ways that this weight loss has improved my life. I am daily grateful for ALL the positive aspects of this weight loss journey!

Totally Rocked the Family Camp Challenge!

Salad bar in the camp dining hall

So this was a first for me. I've been going to this family camp for years and it's always been an eat and drink binge pretty much. I was sooo focused on healthy eating this time. Didn't even open the bottles of wine and champagne (my favorite) that I brought for "happy hour" in our cabin. (The fact that it was in the 90s and higher also discouraged drinking alcohol.)

I brought my own dressing to lunch and dinner, and basically had a big plate of salad with whatever protein was being served. If the protein was too "saucy" (pulled pork, I'm looking at you), I just got by on the beans and cheese in the salad bar, and had a protein bar. Fruit was also served and so I had melon. I had eggs for breakfast, bacon once, and fruit. I was never hungry and it felt great.

I had a few splurges (rocky road ice cream at the camp store) and a few "tastes" (a bite of my granddaughter's s'more) so didn't feel deprived. And coming home, not sure what the scale would say, it was actually a pound or two lower than when I left! But we just got home yesterday and I sweated SO much at camp due to the heat that I'm thinking it was just water loss! In any case, I don't think I gained so YAY!

Challenging Week Ahead

In an hour or so I'm off to a week at a "Family Camp" in the Sierras where our family goes every summer. This year there are extra challenges. Some of those include the record heat in California right now (and associated fire danger), and the rapidly-melting record snowpack along with the danger of flooding and extra-cold, extra-fast moving water (our cabin is right by a river). But, the main danger I'm worried about is the food! ;-)

Food is served more or less family style and is typically high-carb (spaghetti, etc.) with very few healthy choices, with the "veg" being some limp iceberg lettuce. And traditionally we take lots of snacks - and alcohol - for in-tent "happy hours" and all day munching by the water. Not to mention s'mores - yum!

I'm taking some shakes and bars, but at this point being back on "real food" it is hard to go back on mostly product at meals. But one way or another, I'm determined to survive the camping excursion without significant backsliding. Not only do I never want to go back to bad habits and old weight, but I have a wedding I'm going to on July fourth and a dress I need to fit into! ;-)

I'll be away from phone and internet service for a week. Wish me luck with surviving fire, floods and food, LOL!