"You're a Different Person"

At the weigh-in on Monday, as I was passing a fellow cohort member, she said, "You're a different person than the one who started in this program!" I thought it was an interesting, and somewhat surprising, comment. Although the person making it is probably not at her goal weight, I believe she has probably lost more weight than I have on the program. So I'm wondering, does she feel like a different person than the one who started in January?

Maybe she does. I definitely don't feel "like a different person." I recognize I might look significantly different (inevitable after losing almost 60 pounds), but I'm still me, flaws and all.

I actually would have expected that comment from someone who was NOT on a weight loss journey herself. In our culture we do judge people on their weight, and being "weightist" seems to still be an allowable way to discriminate against people and treat them like second class citizens. Losing - and also gaining - weight doesn't change who you are, and shouldn't (ideally) change how people perceive you and interact with you.

I'm 100% sure she meant it as a compliment, and I (after a brief hesitation) took it as one, and said something like oh we're all different than we were in January, but I meant in the outward sense only. I know the stereotype exists that people who are heavy somehow have character flaws - gluttony, laziness, sloth, lack of self- discipline - and so are seen as internally flawed based on their outward appearance. But I know I'm no better or worse than I was in January, just lighter.

The world may treat me like a different person, because I look different, but it would be nice if we could see through the outside and relate to people on the basis of other more important factors. But I know that's somewhat unrealistic. (Although it is the basis for the start of the movie Beauty and the Beast, where the beast judges the enchantress by her external appearance and pays dearly for his lack of judgment!)

I am happy to have compliments on my weight loss success and healthier appearance, but at the same time, I can't help wish that we lived in a world where people were judged and valued for who they are, not what they look like...